| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2007|12:43 am] |
go add my new journal.
i've had it for a while, but after what happened tonight, i needed a fresh start.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) head_vs_hearttt |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|10:51 pm] |
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i could puke so easily. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|09:30 pm] |
my heart was just put in blender and turned on high.
smashed, crushed, broken, torn apart, ripped out, would you like me to fucking continue? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|05:55 am] |
so, for it being 6 am & going without sleep all night, i look pretty damn good.
i got suckered into taking april to howland (4 towns over, 45 minutes minutes away) this morning at 6:30. she got drunk over here last night and has to get sam from his dad's this morning. she offered me 30 bucks to drive her over though, so who am i to argue?
my dad was like "why the fuck does she offer to pay people to drive her places?" and i'm like "HEY! i'm getting 30 dollars and i'm already awake. AND we're not even taking my car, so it's not taking gas out of my tank!"
although, i am getting sleepy and i wish we could just leave already. but that would get us there too early. and shit son! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 28th, 2007|10:57 pm] |
i hate how she won't give in and just lie down. just admit that she's sick and tired and needs rest and to go to bed. so instead she falls asleep on the couch and her neck flops in weird positions and she wakes up in more pain than she was in to begin with.
and then we get in fights because i tell her she ought to go to bed and she gets pissed and then she storms off and goes upstairs all pissed off.
UGH UGH UGH.
4 days or so.
4 days or so. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 27th, 2007|11:17 pm] |
so, can i just say that riding in the front of an ambulance going 80 miles an hour is amazing?
we thought sure that my mom had a pulmonary embolism. she had this weird bruise/clot looking thing on her calf, which is where they start normally. she was having a hard time breathing, her left shoulder and arm was tingly and felt like it was going to fall off, she had a massive headache. all signs and symptoms. not only that, but she worked in an ER and ICU for 15 years. she knows what to look for.
she wouldn't go in my car, cause it didn't have heat. so i talked her into going in the ambulance.
yup, as normal.. they ran no tests, basically did no work-up, gave her some medicine and sent her home.
so, she's okay. a little drowsy from the vicodin they gave her, but okay.
& i thanked her for the experience of the ambulance, haha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|11:21 pm] |
just for the sake of adam..
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|05:29 pm] |
oh yeah! i forgot to mention my major manic spell last night, haha.
i'm laying in bed, i look up at the ceiling and there's two spiders or what i think to be spiders up there. i spent forty-five minutes trying to get them down. i threw a shoe at them, i grabbed one of my old keyboards and tried to hit the ceiling, i sprayed perfume at them, i grabbed a magazine and tried to swat them. needless to say, i was unsuccessful. and ended up back in bed.
it's 3:45 (in the morning) now and i remember this, because i was waiting for a movie to come on at 4am and i wanted to get it done before my movie. get what done you ask? so i had been laying in bed for hours now, right? well all of a sudden i decide i don't like where my bed is. so i get up and i spent 20 minutes re-arranging my bed. AT 4 IN THE MORNING, FOR NO REASON, COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE.
then, i completely re make my bed. i crawl in, start watching my movie and my OCD kicked in. my underwear wasn't laying right on my hips, so i had to get up and change them.
i also decided that somewhere in the mess of all this, that putting my lip ring back in would be a good idea. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 24th, 2007|04:59 pm] |
so i went to the doctor.
she didn't bring up anything serious about the tremors, but thinks that it may be because my thyroid is off. the pins and needles and tingling in my hands and arms is the beginning of carpal tunnel. she gave me a prescription for 2 wrist splints (one for my left and one for my right) and i'm supposed to wear them all night and if i can get used to it, then wear them when i'm typing, too.
i have NO reflex in my right leg, whatsoever. which she thinks also has to do with my thyroid possibly being off.
she was really impressed with my weight loss. and said that if i had lost this much weight on my own and we find out my thyroid is off and then get that back in check, to just imagine the weight i could continue losing.
the 2 conjoining moles on my shoulder blade need to be removed. they could be cancerous. and they're notched, they've raised off the skin more, they're sore, discolored and the edges are abnormal.
come to find out, when i was in the ER in april for my cysts and they did blood work, i had low potassium, which no one told me about.
so, i go in for a complete blood test/work up in a few weeks and she's going to especially look out for my thyroid, anemia, iron-deficiency, and low b-12.
ehh, could be worse. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2007|11:54 pm] |
i've lost another 6 pounds. apparently my other calculations were off. because this brings me up to having lost 40lbs. i am in love with how i can feel my collar bones and hip bones.
i go to the doctor (medical) tomorrow.
& i finally told my mom how i was feeling and that i was really down and that my bipolar has really taken off. so she called my pyschiatrist and told him that i didn't have insurance and asked if we could set something up for payments. so after i go to the doctor tomorrow i have to run to his office and set something up. because i'm 18 now, they won't even talk to my mom about it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|08:32 pm] |
the contestant on deal or no deal tonight is the best one i've seen yet.
she's soo freaking cute and hilarious. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|01:39 am] |
so i just talked to miss kelso for 2 hours and 15 freaking minutes on ze phone.
mexican mondays, thai tuesdays, wonton wednesdays, thirsty thursdays, french fry fridays, sundae saturdays and buffet sundays. beefy! stds. BOTARDS. hadded. meatball head. geoff rickly actually being spitalfield. "she looks like a man, she looks like a man, and i don't say things twice." wall/ceiling creases. THE GIRL ON THE BRIDGE "yeah, i totally know what show you're talking about!" "i'm pychic.." "which the killers song?" "i want my money back.." THERE'S A HORSE! two bags of confetti or one?
i love her so much more, now that we've actually talked, haha.
OH AND BTW I DON'T HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW!
ily so much<3
EDIT: why are you capitalizing at me!? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|10:17 pm] |
i am losing my mind, haha.
erin and i just watched the last 5 minutes or so of the colts/patriots game.
erin (10:07:44 PM): tom brady is a hunk y/y/y?
so spoke miseryy (10:07:55 PM): yes!
erin (10:08:39 PM): NO
so spoke miseryy (10:08:40 PM): FUCKUCKFUCK
erin (10:08:40 PM): NO
erin (10:08:41 PM): NO
erin (10:08:42 PM): NO
so spoke miseryy (10:08:45 PM): FUCKING A
so spoke miseryy (10:08:49 PM): MOTHERFUCKERS!
so spoke miseryy (10:09:21 PM): FUUUUUUUUUCK
erin (10:09:30 PM): my dad is yellin at the tv lol
so spoke miseryy (10:09:34 PM): haha mine too
erin (10:11:00 PM): this season of wat is so bad
so spoke miseryy (10:11:11 PM): is it?
erin (10:11:13 PM): run run run
erin (10:11:14 PM): run
so spoke miseryy (10:11:17 PM): AHHHHH
erin (10:11:17 PM): (yes it is)
so spoke miseryy (10:11:35 PM): i only watch the reruns, really.
so spoke miseryy (10:12:48 PM): this could go on forever, you know. theres 3 time outs between them
so spoke miseryy (10:13:07 PM): ahhhhh
so spoke miseryy (10:14:25 PM): FUCKING A!
erin (10:14:25 PM): fuckt hat
erin (10:14:28 PM): fufsfgudfjgkl
so spoke miseryy (10:14:41 PM): that has go to be such a let down
erin (10:14:56 PM): that is such BS
so spoke miseryy (10:15:10 PM): it so is.
so spoke miseryy (10:15:21 PM): (i've gotta thing for peyton manning)
the fucking colts won and that is such a letdown. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2007|03:23 am] |
i can't breathe. i feel like the air is being sucked out of my lungs. i can't be strong anymore. i can't do this. i won't do anything stupid, but i can't be like this anymore. i feel like i'm in a box that is continuously getting smaller and smaller.
this is my mental breakdown and it's coming like train. |
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